Showing posts with label Mum. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Mum. Show all posts

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Memories

I remember after moving here, all the family loved to visit. It was the place to make memories. Paddling in the river. Feeding the ducks. Watching the lambs. Barbecues. Picnics. Easter. Never Christmas, because the weather never complied. (But one year we did Christmas, complete with tree, decorations and turkey in April, just to prove Christmas could be celebrated anytime.)

It was decided that there were no better hills for Easter egg rolling than the hills where I live. One of my favourite memories is when my niece and nephew (and the adults) spent the morning painting boiled eggs. We created masterpieces, but if my memory serves me correctly, my Dad’s was best.

Ian drove up the hill on his quad with the boiled eggs. With my Mum on the back of the quad! Yep, my Mum, in her seventies, on the back of a quad for the first time in her life. She was game for anything. Oh, how I miss her. I have a picture in my head of her that day on the quad…she was loving it. She always put her faith in God. That day she put her faith in my husband instead, and he didn’t let her down. I knew he wouldn’t. I'm sure there is a photo of my Mum on that quad with Ian, but I have searched and searched and can't find it. Maybe there never was one...maybe the picture was only ever in my head. I'm sure this photo was taken the same day.



So the eggs were rolled, the kids ran to get the eggs, but my dog, my lovely Red, chased after the eggs too. He beat the kids. I also have a picture in my head of Red that day, running after those eggs, laughing. He loved to laugh. I stood at the bottom of the hill shouting not to let him have any more eggs. Everyone laughed at me…‘Leave him be…he’s having fun!’ Yes, he is, I thought….but I’d need to live with the result. Oh, our house certainly didn’t smell of roses for the next couple of days.

It was a fun day.

Everything has changed since then. The kids have grown up. I no longer have my Mum. I no longer have my Red. But the memories stay.

I like to remember days like that. I know they won’t happen again, but remembering makes me smile.

Memories are wonderful, aren’t they?

Saturday, April 02, 2016

Your Life, Your Choice

Since April is "Your Life, Your Choice" month, I felt the need to write a wee blog post about it. Actually, I didn't feel the need at all.....I chose to write it. (Big difference!)

We all go through life making choices. What time to set the alarm? Breakfast or no breakfast? Tea or coffee? Chocolate or......chocolate? Sometimes the choices are simple. Some choices might be easier to make than others.

My Mum used to tell me that I had a good attitude to life. She said that no matter what life gave me, I always tried to smile and just get on with life.

I turned fifty last month (not really by choice๐Ÿ˜ฎ), but I can look back on my life and I realise that my Mum was right. I do have a good attitude and I am quite proud to admit that.

I try to find the positives in everything. When I find only negative, I try my hardest to turn it around. I try to find something to feel happy about. Something to make me smile. Something....anything which can make a difficult situation a wee bit better. And there is always something.

☔️ Caught in the rain on way to the car - thankful we have a car.
๐Ÿ“Not a single bit of chocolate in the house - but I have fruit!
๐ŸŒŽ Can't afford to go on holiday - have you seen the views from my house?

Obviously those are trivial examples, but they are real examples. For me, it seems natural to find positives. But I know it's not the same for everyone. However, it is believed that people have the power to choose whether to live with negativity or positivity.

It has long been established that positive thinking can lead to a happier, more contented life. For people living with a chronic illness of any kind, it is believed that a positive outlook can also help them to cope with and manage their illness.

I would say that in my case, that is definitely true.

When faced with daily health issues and chronic pain, I personally believe that 'choosing' positivity is so important.

I wake up in the morning and don't know if my back will cope with getting out of bed. My husband has to help me with some of my clothes, because I can't manage myself. Am I going to be able to make myself a cup of tea, or do I need to rely on my husband to do that too. My face hurts the minute I wake up. I don't know if the pain from it will stay at that level, or if it will get worse throughout the day. Will I struggle with food? Will I be able to clean my teeth? Will I need to spend most of the day in bed because of pain in some part of my body?

I could easily wake up in the morning and think about those things and be slowly dragged down into a deep black hole. But I don't want to be in that hole and I don't have to go into it. I have a choice.

Instead, I choose to be grateful. I choose to be optimistic. I choose to smile. I choose to be happy. It's my life and I choose to focus on positivity. 


I wake up and say, thank goodness I have a rail by my bed to help me get up; I'm glad my understanding husband is here to help me throughout the day; I enjoy porridge, soup, pasta and other soft food which is easier to eat; I have a dog who laughs as he bounces through to see me when he decides I've stayed in bed too long; a cat who seems to sense when I'm having a bad day and sits by my side.

Do those things take away my pain? No, of course they don't. But those kind of things help me cope with my problems. My life's not a bed of roses, but those positive thoughts help to put a smile on my face and get on with life, just as my Mum used to say.

Everyone has choices in life and there are always positives to be found.

It's up to us to find them.

#YourLifeYourChoice





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Good Pain

Friday, December 06, 2013

My Mum

I've written about my Mum before in the posts Dear Mum and Mother's Day. She has also been in a few of my other posts, so I am sure you will have picked up that my Mum was very, very special.

To be honest, I didn't think I would ever write the post which I am about to write. But today, something is just making me write it.

Four years ago on this very day, my family and I were sitting around my Mum's bed waiting and hoping that she could have as peaceful an end to her life as possible. And thankfully she did, just a few minutes after midnight, my Mum passed away.

My Mum, out skipping with her granddaughter
Right up until the summer of that year, my Mum had been in perfect health. Better than perfect, in fact. My Mum was in her element when playing with her grandchildren. She would be outside 'running races' or skipping with my young niece. If the weather wasn't good enough to be outside doing that, she had the grandchildren in the kitchen baking pancakes, scones and cakes. If they were happy, she was happy.

But at the end of that summer, my Mum developed an irritating cough. A lot of people in the area had a similar irritating cough so nobody, including her doctor, thought it was anything to worry about. But it became persistant, and was dragging her down. The doctor was doing all the usual things doctors do for irritating coughs, but nothing was helping. I can remember visiting and I got a shock....she looked ghastly.

The doctor was coming in to visit the following day, and when he did, I think he got a shock too at how fast she seemed to be going downhill. He had her admitted to hospital. She was put on oxygen and looked so much better. But they had to find out the cause of the cough.

Turned out my Mum had cancer of the kidney and it had spread, and obviously now her lungs were affected. It was so widespread, and nothing could be done. She had no symptoms other than that cough, so there had been no reason to go to the doctor earlier. The doctor showed us the scan, and I remember asking if they were sure that was Mum's scan. She only went in with a cough, and now we were facing this.

We got Mum home, and just tried to make the most of the next few weeks. My Mum just faced up to this with a strength which was amazing, but didn't really surprise us.

I have told people in the past that those seven weeks were the worst weeks of my life, but in a strange way, they were also the best weeks of my life. The times we shared were more than special. I stayed there most of the time and we talked, we looked through photos together or we played scrabble. We laughed. We talked more. Sometimes we didn't talk. Sometimes we just looked at each other....no words were needed.

My Dad, sister and I kind of held each other together throughout those weeks. Actually, I think it was my Mum who was holding all of us together. But we get through it. And now today, four years on, it still feels as though she should answer the phone when I phone my Dad. It still feels like she should be in the kitchen when I visit, making me those treacle pancakes. It still feels like she should still be there. And I have realised that I like that feeling, and I never want it to stop. I like the memories and I don't want them to go. My Mum will always be part of me, part of who I am. She will always be in my head and she will always be in my heart giving me hope and strength when I need it.

So today is just one of those days when we have thought even more than usual about my Mum. And she has been there giving me and my family hope and strength today as always. And I know she always will be doing just that. She was special...very, very special.
My Mum at our wedding in 1992

Sunday, March 18, 2012

Mother's Day


It's Mother's Day here in the UK today.

Another one of those days for people who no longer have their Mums to sit and think, "I wish....."

Well, actually, it doesn't take Mother's Day to make me wish that my Mum was still here. That happens every day and I don't suppose I'll ever stop feeling like that. I loved her so much and I miss her so much.

But I still consider myself so lucky that I did have my Mum for so long. I was in my early forties when I lost her....not everyone has their Mum for as long as that. So I look back and I appreciate every moment I had with her.

She was very special and I was very lucky.


I still am lucky.....I have been married to Ian for nearly twenty years. After I had been going out with him for a wee while, he took me to meet his Mum for the first time. I was a bit nervous, but when I met her, I found I had no reason to be nervous. I just felt relaxed in her company. Ian and I got married, she became my mother-in-law, and the bond between us has grown so much over the last twenty years.

She has always been there offering help. An ear to listen to me, and a shoulder to lean on any time I've needed it.

I remember being in Ian's Mum and Dad's house on the morning before we took my Mum to the Beatson Hospital in Glasgow to see the cancer specialist. We were trying not to expect a miracle, but we still really hoped for one. I stood on the doorstep before leaving their house, and Ian's Mum gave me a hug, which I will never, ever forget.

Being in her arms,  I felt like I was in the safest place in the world that day. She was trying to hold back her own tears and she told me to go and be strong for my Mum. And I did try my hardest to be strong for my Mum that day, and over the following few weeks. But at that moment, that morning, I just wanted to stay in her arms forever.

She is very special and Ian and I are both so lucky. We both love her so much.

Nobody can ever replace my Mum. But nobody could ever replace Ian's Mum either.


 
Mums
Mums are extra special friends
Who are always there for you
They are there during the good times
And the not so good ones too
They are proud of your achievements
And hold your hand if you are shy
They laugh when you are laughing
And hold you close while you cry

Mums are extra special gifts
And I am so lucky to have been given you
Because I couldn’t have had better
And I know for sure that's true
 E.S.

So.......back to Mother's Day.......a day when people are meant to show their love and appreciation to their Mums. But in my mind, people shouldn't need a special day on the calendar to show that.

That should happen all the time.




Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Dear Mum,

Today, just like this day every year, I want to pick up the phone to say “Happy Birthday”, then to come down to spend the day with you.

But, sadly, I can no longer do that.

It’s been almost two years now, but it still feels so recent. It still feels like you should answer the phone when I call the house to speak to Dad. It still feels like you should be there in your house when I visit Dad.

It’s strange. The memories are there.....so clear. You’re there in the kitchen taking some treacle scones out of the oven. You baked them because you knew I was visiting. I can almost smell those scones when I think of it.

Your smile. Your eyes. So happy always.

I have so many memories and they are all so good. I’m lucky to have them.

I am so so lucky and so proud to have had you as my Mum.

So wherever you are Mum, my very special Mum......happy birthday xx





When God created Betty.......

He looked down on earth one day
From that throne of His above
And decided to create a special lady
Whose heart would be full of love
She’d have extra special qualities
Like compassion and understanding
And an extra special nature
Which would never be demanding
He added patience and thoughtfulness
And lots of kindness too
Then he mixed them altogether
And the end result was you!

Love you forever Mum